Brinkley’s Corner: Teaching Your Human How To Play.

Posted by on Oct 8, 2012 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Brinkley’s Corner: Teaching Your Human How To Play.

Did you know, we dogs sleep 8-12 hours a day? Sound familiar? Basically, when our human sleeps–we sleep. When our human eats–we eat. And when our human plays–we are always ready to play. Problem is, most humans don’t allow for enough play time. And us dogs really want to play. Play–eat–play–eat. That’s what we’re about.

Now my Mom is a very busy woman. Dad too. But today, for the purpose of play, I’m going to share a little secret with you.

(Tip: This is a dogs-only secret. Quietly distract your humans away from the screen.)

There’s only one secret, really. But it’s guaranteed to get you more play time and in turn excercises your human. It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved. And they’ll thank you for it later.

How to start: The first order of business is to grab something your human doesn’t want you to have. Only you can find out what that something is, I can’t tell you. You’ll need to watch your human very closely. They’re creatures of habit. They like “stuff”. I still can’t figure out why, but they collect stuff like we dogs collect fleas. Only they don’t want to get rid of their stuff, and we dogs–well, most of us anyway–don’t wish to keep our fleas.

As you know, humans store stuff everywhere; in closets, drawers, and under beds. And when their dog house gets full, they rent more space–to store more stuff. And don’t even get me started on how big of a dog house is needed for all their stuff. Why they can’t just pile everything into one room, make a bed out of it and go to sleep, I have no idea. It’s warmer. It’s far easier, but–no! They have to spread it out, sleep apart or with one other human. Of course, I rebel against this idea. I insist on sleeping with them, on top of their stuff. But that’s another story. Where was I? Oh yeah! When the dog house gets full, or there’s no more space to rent–wait for it–they throw their stuff into the trash. Can you believe it? Good stuff, in the trash!

Exhibit A: Me with the stuff Mom threw in the trash!

(Tip: Don’t eat anything in the trash. It will make you sick and you will spend the rest of the night trying not to poop in the house. Don’t poop in the house! It’s bad. I know–and stupid. More on that later.)

Now, this is where the secret gets fun. I have found a way to turn all this so called trash into a training tool for my human. Basically, I get into the trash. Take out what looks good to me…

(Tip:I warn you,for some reason, humans resist this at first.)

Anyway, I grab the trash. Or anything I know they don’t want me to have. Then–I run like HELL! They will chase you! Remember be cute. They like it when we’re cute. And don’t be afraid if you hear screaming. That’s normal. As long as you don’t ruine their coveted “stuff”, and you’re cute, they will not hurt you. But you will get the best play time ever with your human.

Exhibit A: Me playing with Mom! And being cute.

Don’t expect your first time to be this perfect. I’ve been manipulating my human since 2010. It takes time to find your humans motivator. And remember, always give them a treat or a gift when you’re done. My human likes pine cones, rocks, and foreign poop I find in the woods. I know this sounds crazy, but she squeals and makes funny sounds to show how happy she is, so, I just give her what she wants. I don’t mind spoiling her. Now, these types of treats may not work for your human. You will have to test out which rewards make your human happy. It’s all in day’s work, but it’s so worth it when you can play until both of you are content and happy. Then, it’s time to celebrate–which means,eat! Before you know it, it’s eat-play-eat-play every day!

Job well done. Now, reward yourself. Climb into your humans lap, or the nearest pile of “stuff” you can find, and just go to sleep. 8 or 12 hours later–about the time it takes to lap up a good drink of water–get up and do it again.

That’s right–now they know why they took us into their home. With out us, they’d never undersand the importance of play. And we do it, why? Because we love them. And we love to play–of course.

It’s good to be the dog!